Giving feedback to colleagues: why it’s so psychologically difficult and how practice makes a difference
Giving feedback to colleagues seems straightforward from a rational point of view. We know it’s important, we’re familiar with the rules of feedback, and many professionals have at some point attended a training course on giving or receiving feedback. Yet, in practice, giving feedback remains one of the most avoided and difficult skills in the workplace. Not because people don’t want to do it, but because feedback evokes emotions and people are naturally inclined to avoid conflict and maintain harmony, a reflex that is deeply ingrained in how we live together as human beings.
More and more organisations are therefore looking for ways to improve giving feedback to colleagues by practising with realistic AI role-plays.
This explains why search terms such as ‘giving feedback to colleagues’, ‘feedback training’ and ‘example sentences for giving feedback’ keep cropping up. People aren’t looking for explanations, but for something they can practise and apply, so that conversations become less fraught, situations feel manageable, and working together restores energy rather than causing tension.
Why giving feedback to colleagues often goes wrong, even among experienced professionals
Psychologically speaking, an important mechanism comes into play when giving feedback. Emotions almost always take precedence over rational thinking. As soon as feedback is perceived as a judgement or a threat, the brain automatically switches to protection mode. This applies to both the person receiving feedback and the person giving it.
This is precisely why giving feedback to colleagues creates tension. The relationship is often one of equals, interests are intertwined, and past experiences colour the conversation. In that context, automatic behaviour quickly takes precedence over conscious intentions. People start to soften their tone, avoid the issue, sugarcoat things, or, conversely, force the point. The message becomes less clear and the conversation takes a different turn than intended. What someone wanted to convey does not always come across that way, and this not only leads to misunderstandings or frustration, but also puts pressure on the relationship between the parties.
Knowing the rules of feedback is not the same as being able to give feedback in practice
Many feedback training courses start with rules. Feedback must be specific, behaviour-focused and timely. These feedback rules are valuable, but they do not solve the real problem. Knowing how feedback should sound or be given does not mean that someone can actually apply it when emotions and tension come into play.
At times when giving feedback becomes tense, people look for words that help them say what they mean without damaging the relationship. Sample phrases can help with this, but only when they fit the context, the relationship and the moment of the conversation.
From example sentences to impact-focused feedback behaviour
The difference between weak and strong feedback rarely lies in the intention, but in the effect. Take this sentence:
“You need to communicate more clearly.”
This feedback is familiar, but often provokes resistance or confusion. What is clearer? When? And how?
In an AI roleplay in PractAIce, a user receives targeted feedback on this, for example:
“You’re expressing an opinion, but not describing observable behaviour. This makes it difficult for the other person to understand exactly what you mean and can come across the wrong way.”
An alternative is then practised:
“In Monday’s meeting, I noticed that you only explained your position at the end. As a result, I wasn’t quite sure where you were going with it.”
The psychological impact of this rephrasing is fundamentally different. The feedback becomes less confrontational, more concrete and easier to receive. You learn this by doing, experiencing and receiving immediate feedback on your behaviour.
You learn to give and receive feedback by practising in realistic AI role-plays
Effective feedback training requires repetition in a recognisable context. Not just one role-play during a training session, but micro-training sessions in which professionals give and receive feedback in situations that resemble their daily work.
With AI role-plays, PractAIce makes this scalable and safe. Users practise feedback conversations in an environment without it having a negative impact on the relationship. This lowers the threshold for experimenting, making mistakes and trying out new ways of phrasing things.
Creating scenarios based on your own experience
A key difference from traditional (online) courses is that users can build their own scenarios within PractAIce. Examples include giving feedback to a colleague who reacts defensively, receiving feedback from a manager, or providing feedback within a team.
In the scenario builder, personas can be created that exhibit realistic behaviour. Users can upload documents, such as internal feedback guidelines or discussion frameworks, so that these are explicitly incorporated into the role-play. As a result, the exercises are not only aligned with general feedback principles, but also with the organisation’s specific culture and working practices.
The role of the AI coach in feedback training
After each AI role-play, the user receives feedback from the AI coach. This consists of a substantive reflection on behaviour, phrasing and impact, supplemented by insightful scores on relevant competencies. The coach highlights what went well, where the greatest room for improvement lies, and which adjustments to phrasing or approach will have the greatest impact in a subsequent conversation.
This approach is based on behavioural science. Learning is most effective when feedback follows behaviour immediately and when someone can practise the new behaviour straight away.
Where can you find training to give better feedback in the workplace
For organisations seeking training to improve feedback in the workplace, the focus is increasingly shifting from one-off feedback training sessions to structured practice. Online courses can provide insight, but without practice, the impact on lasting behavioural change is limited.
PractAIce supports training in giving and receiving feedback by offering micro-training sessions in which employees practise realistic feedback conversations. In this way, managers, teams and professionals develop feedback skills that hold up even under pressure.
Giving feedback is not a trick, but a behavioural process
Giving feedback does not require perfect phrases, but awareness, practice and reflection. By understanding how psychology and emotions influence the conversation and by practising feedback in realistic AI role-plays, space is created for the development of desired behaviour.
From understanding to putting it into practice
Anyone who really wants to improve their feedback skills will not only need to understand the theory, but above all practise in situations that resemble everyday practice. Curious and want to experience it for yourself?
With PractAIce, professionals can use AI role-plays to practise feedback conversations in a safe environment, based on their own scenarios, personas and feedback rules. In a free demo, users can immediately experience how micro-training, realistic AI role-plays and targeted coaching feedback work together to improve feedback skills.